| So long, kid. |
[Jun. 28th, 2009|06:26 pm] |
http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/metro/view/20090625-212430/Orgy-gone-awry-seen-in-teeners-death
Benjamin Peralta, we have never spoken formally but you mattered a lot to my bestfriend. For almost every moment that we get to talk to each other, he'd instantly complain to me how incredibly stupid and inane you were. But i'd just laugh it off and go along with him, because like I said, I never knew you personally. Yes, sometimes we'd stare at each other in silent recognition but we had never exchanged words. Not even a simple Hi nor a Hello. Yet, somehow, i feel affected by your passing. You were still too young, you have yet to enjoy life. You were a handsome kid, too bad i won't ever see you bloom into a better man anymore. I'm really sorry for you and all of those you left behind. I pray that where ever you are now, you'd find the peace you never found here. So long, kid.
"Igi, ano ba sa English yung manliligaw? Switor ba yun?"
Bye Benji. |
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| Unemployed and loving it. |
[Apr. 28th, 2009|02:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | A cursive memory - Everything | ] |
Nope, I am not jobless because of the economy. Rather, I am jobless because I chose to be. How awesome is it that even in this state of economic depression worldwide, neverending job offers seem to flock me? St. Lukes Hospital keeps peppering my phone with messages; Makati Medical Center calling at our house, my mom's office and my dad's office; Philippine Blood Center trying to seduce me with their tempting salary offer; and lots (and lots) more. These hospitals really must be desperate for an RMT. I mean, 20 thousand plus pesos as starting pay? And for a rookie too! Yet our neighbor who's a nurse for almost 6 years is still struggling with only almost 15 thousand a month. WTH?
But despite the delicious offers being served up to me, I still opted to turn them all down just to keep myself unemployed. How cool is that shit, huh? Lol.
Just in case you've been wondering, I did not hole myself up in a secluded cave in some far away isla and lived the past few months in rags and tiki-torches ala Survivor/Lost. (Though I wish I could have spent it that way... COCONUTS! hehe.) During the 6 (or more) months I had been away I was actually being a responsible citizen contributing to society by being a professional healthcare worker working in some nearby private hospital until I resigned last March. The pay is not really great, but hey, it's not bad for a 'meantime' job. At least I get to have shopping money every week.. or would-have-been shopping money, at least. You know, when I think about it, it strikes me as odd. Back in the days when I was a dirt-poor (lol) college student, I would always tell myself that when I get a job and start earning money i'd buy this, i'd buy that. But when that time had finally come, I realized that I didn't want to spend my money at all. Instead, I gave most of my pay to my mom and kept only enough to get me through the week. (Payday is every tuesday, btw.) I don't know... maybe it's maturity on my part or maybe I just wasn't in the mood for some spending bonanza but if you'd ask me, I never had a single ounce of regret for what I did. It's just money anyway. I'd still earn lots of it, right? :D
Aherm. Speaking of earning money, how in the world am I gonna do so now that I am without a job for almost a month? Good question. Actually, my current state of unemployment is just as temporary as when I was employed. Because this coming june I'm going to med school. Yaaaay! :D
I'm super excited about going to med school mainly because of two reasons: a.) It's my lifetime dream to become a doctor and b.) I got admitted in a really prestigious medical University that's practically a stone-throw away from our house. So yup, this is really it. I know it's gonna be tough and I'm not supposed to be all giddy about it, but I swear i'd do my best. So wish me luck, okay? I might need it. :)
Okay, rant over. I'm going back to playing The Sims 2 while i'm still a useless bum this summer. I'm actually writing a sim story with my teens as the cast. The plot is kinda like a cross between Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill. Yeah, it sounds really cheezy but i'm just writing it for my personal satisfaction so leave me alone. Bleh. >:P
I'll post some pictures of my simmies when i finally get the shots i need. It's gonna be faaantastic. XD
~Later! |
|
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| I'm in-love! |
[Sep. 3rd, 2008|03:03 am] |
Oh hi there. I'm totally so in-love with my new boyfriend, Damian Lewis. XD
(Photo taken from The Bakery)
I first saw him as Lt. Winters in the HBO mini series Band of Brothers, a war drama directed by the oh-so-magnificent-spielberg and tom hanks. Despite having the DVD collection for ages, i never really watched it until now because being the girly-girl that i am, it never roused my interest even for a bit. I always thought that it'd be just like any other typical WWII story: chock full of ear-busting rifle combat, exploding bombs and soldiers' shouting warcries a-la rambo. And when they're not in the field, it's usually the boring conversations between the generals bridled with complicated conspiracy/tactics that will leave you running for tissues to stopper your nose-bleed. And Hitler. There's always a Hitler. It is never a WWII movie without him. So, to me, BOB was marked in my mind as 'boy-who-loves-war-or-anything-related-to-it stuff'. Boys who are particularly like my brother, the war-gameveteran (lol). That's why i ignored it for almost a year. I totally made a mistake with that. I guess i learned the lesson "never judge a DVD by it's title" the hard way. XD</p>
Every episode of BOB is great, expect nothing less from the genius director spielberg. I'm not even a war movie enthusiast yet i'm bewitched with the series. Of course there's also the factor that is the insanely hot Damian Lewis but that aside, BOB is a great drama about the real-life exploits of the Easy Company during the WWII. And did i mention that it's full of cute, sweaty and dirty soldiers? XD
I sincerely thank my brother for inviting me to watch BOB with him. He totally opened up a new world for me. XD~
Oh and last night, i dreamt that i was working as a concentration camp nurse during the WWII. In that dream, Lt. Winters and Lt. Nixon were fighting over me. Oh, what i would give to make it come true. X3
Imagine.
I now have another name to put in the roster of my Fuckables list. My current list looks like this nao:
      + 
Yums. >:D
P.S.: Seeing David Schwimmer (AKA Ross from Friends) play a tough SOB is priceless. XD |
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| A haunting or just a hallucination? |
[Jul. 6th, 2008|11:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Sims 2 Seasons Theme | ] |
Hmm.
I have been alone in this house for roughly 3 months now. Not really alone all the time, only when my parents and brothers go to work/school which gives me at least 8 hours of me-time everyday. I don't really mind being alone.
Actually, i like it.
So we've been living in this new house for over a year now and i can say that i'm already comfortable here. Who wouldn't be? It's like 6x (or more) bigger than our old house.
Wait... what?
Oh yeah, it's already been a year and this is the only time i've mentioned about moving houses. It's not really a big deal since our old house is just a few blocks away. LOL. I'm still stuck in the same subdvision, boo.
So anyways, i may not be alone in this house at all...
Or so i think.
Yeah yeah, a typical story. Strangers move into a new house inhabited by someone/somethings and now they want the strangers out of their territory; the hauntings begin and the strangers are scared witless and so on and so forth until someone either dies from fright or someone moves out.
But i don't think that's true in my case.
If there really is someone/something with me, it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, i think it's even trying to coexist with me.
Weird, huh?
These are some of my observations:
- Our Pet Cat (Bruno XD) hisses at something i/we can't see. Either that or in the middle of her sleep, she suddenly wakes up as if she was startled by something. It's scary sometimes, because you can feel that she's seeing something that you can't.
- Our former househelp complained of hearing someone going up and down the stairs not only at night but also during afternoons. I hear that myself as well.
- I always have this gut-feeling that i am, indeed, not alone.
I've been noticing that stuff going on for some time now. Funny thing is, even if i'm practically vulnerable -- alone and all, it has never bothered me at all. I kept brushing these incidents as mere hallucination until i saw him yesterday.
Yesterday i was lying on my belly, sketching stuff when my door opened slightly. I saw a foot. Now i don't know if it was just my imagination or just a mirage due to my bad eye-sight. I seriously don't know. I thought at first that maybe a robber or a psycho silently slipped inside our house ready to rob and kill me, but it didn't move nor jump at me.
I blinked at it stupidly for like a minute or so.
I don't know what compelled me to do this, but i just said aloud:
"Pakisara yung pinto, pwede?"
Close the door, please?
And the door closed.
How obedient.
I resumed my sketching afterwards. I don't know but i never felt any panic that time. Maybe i'm just stupid like that, but i don't know, i never really sensed any danger coming my way.
After i think ten minutes or more, i checked downstairs to see if there was indeed a robber sweeping our house clean of our worldly possessions.
Nobody was there and everything seemed to be in their pristine condition. Not a single particle of dust was disturbed.
Robber? No. Alone? No.
Sigh. I keep complaining of having no one to talk to. Now there is someone who can.
Maybe i'll try and talk to him sometime. |
|
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| Stormy Summer |
[May. 9th, 2008|08:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
I have another issue with my life... the september Medical Technology Licensure exams! Just the thought of it makes my stomach quiver. Just hearing the word "Boards" makes me slippery with cold sweat. I can't take it anymore! I feel so anxious! My whole life and future literally hangs onto this! I really really feel nervous because i feel as if i'm not studying enough to pass when i'm already raking my brains out memorizing medical mumbo jumbo. Huhu!
Last april, i thought to myself that i'd spend one month for myself first before studying for the boards... now i feel like regretting the wasted time. I have never felt so nervous all my life. I'm nervous not just because i need to pass this exam for myself, but also for my parents, professors, and the other people who are expecting to see my name printed in the newspaper alongside the other passers. Ahh the pressure! How do i deal with this? >_<
I WILL ONLY THINK POSITIVE FROM NOW ON! I WILL PASS THIS LICENSURE EXAM. I WILL DEFINITELY PASS! BANZAI!! |
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| Wonderland |
[Apr. 25th, 2008|01:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Project One - Lilipad na ako | ] |
These past weeks i've been brooding a lot. Probably because for 3 weeks i was always left alone in the house with nothing but house pets as companions. And this goddamn summer heat is doing nothing to appease my situation. From a very hectic hospital life, this sudden surge of inactivity is very unwelcome. Am i making sense here? I thought so. My boredom is making me spew out nonsense.
***
Finding Wonderland
New deviation, check it out! :D
This is the first time i ever tried watercolor in corel and boy, it was sooooo hard! Watercolor is so unpredictable.. but i like it's subtle color effect so i worked my butt for it anyway... and i love the result. :D It may not be at par with other deviants' work but still, i'm proud of it! And i sooooo love the red hair and freckles on the girl. I tried blue, brown and black hair on her before but it's red that hits the spot. :D
For the background i intended to to a wonderland city thingy, with cakey buildings and lollipop lamp posts... but with my 733t drawing skills, i just have to give up. So i turned to CLAMP's version of Alice in Wonderland in one of Cardcaptor sakura's episode and viola, i came up with a flying heart with a tophat thingy.. i also added some falling aces just because. It's so not wonderland without the card aces! XD
Down down down the rabbit-hole;
Wonderland is there!
Lead me there, lead me there
so i can be at home!
That's what the text says on the lower right portion of the illustration. I can't seem to get it more visible. Sigh. Photoshop skillz fail zOMG. Anyways, I just made that paragraph up. You'll have to read it in a sing-song manner to get the feel. LOL. Actually, that pretty much sums up what i feel these days. With the mountainload of pressure and responsibilities i have to deal with everyday, i just can't help but want to have an escape route. I want to escape this dull reality and go to a happy place where you can only have fun. No responsibilities, no pressure, no rules. How i wish. I think this is a manifestation of my fear of growing up; to traverse the path to adulthood.. I am desperately clinging to my childhood just to shield me from this looming phase of life. I still feel as if i'm not yet ready.. There are still things i want to do but sadly, there's no room and time for it anymore. I can't really put into words my exact feelings right now, but if there's one word relative to it, it would be desperate. But actually, that's pretty much an understatement.
Damnation! All this sulking and brooding in front of this computer is making me itch for a smoke! That's it, i am giving in to temptation! HAH!
Later! |
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| Nah-uh. |
[Apr. 18th, 2008|06:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Roofdeck | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | David Cook - Always be my baby | ] |
I've got nothing to smoke about. Really, nothing. I don't have any major problems like having a broken family, a messy relationship or anything of the sort. I just want to smoke. Honestly. No matter how many times they say that smoking kills, it just tastes even better every time i burn up a stick. I'm not trying to be oh-so-cool like other people. Neither did curiousity drive me to do it. I wasn't influenced by my friends nor by my family. I don't know. Basta one day i just decided to pick some up (cigs) at 7/11 and smoked like a steam-engine to go. Maybe i just wanted to blow off some steam. I could have plenty of sex as an alternative but.. nah. A box of condoms would be much pricier than a case of cigs. >:D
Yesterday i was smoking on our roofdeck, blowing smoke from my nostrils and purposedly showing off to those prude church-going manangs passing by. It was cool. I could practically see their eyebrows going as high as our 4th floor. Then this boy next door saw me and went up their roof, asked me for some sticks and a lighter. Being two floors higher, the three sticks i threw at him went to waste. But never mind. His boyish kinda-cute devilish smile told me that it was the start of something... something what i don't know. I'll just have to wait and see.
As i was smoking kanina i was wondering what has become of my life. I realized then that compared to other people, i have a very sheltered life. While the masses are going haywire with all the crises springing up left and right, not a single strand of my perfectly relaxed and treated hair is even affected. There's a nationwide shortage of food supplies and here i am, not even eating a bite. I'm getting tired of it. I know a lot of people would kill just to have my place in this (if you would excuse me) God-forsaken land and yet... i'm getting TIRED of it. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. I'm getting tired of being unable to help others out. Hell, i can't even help myself! Oh well. I guess this is how the world goes.
I've got nothing to smoke about. Really, nothing. |
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| Everything's a blur |
[Apr. 14th, 2008|11:28 am] |
Our commencement exercises was held last april 9, wednesday. I'm not gonna blog about it yet.. Some other time, maybe. All that happened on that day still seems to be blurry to me.
Later. |
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| I'm graduating, oh yeah! |
[Apr. 4th, 2008|06:52 pm] |
Four years of college life is finally over! I can't believe how time raced by so quickly! The fact that i've already finished 12 months of internship hasn't sinked in to me yet. 12 months? Over? OMG! >XD
All i can say is... they were right -- Professors, college alumni, and clinical instructors -- when they said that the most fun part of being a medtech student is the internship. 12 months of lab work, socializing with patients and building relationships with staff and co-interns alike is technically what it's all about. But for me, it was also a time for us to grow.. a leeway for us to spread our wings and soar as high as the sky! Now that we've been through it, we're ready to face the world as brilliant professionals. :)
Ahem. Now let me share to you bits of my experiences as an intern. :)
The hospital where i was first assigned was at the Philippine Heart Center. Overall, i think my whole 6 months of stay there was somewhat fun. I liked my co-interns who hailed from different other schools: UST, MCU, Lyceum of Batangas, San Juan de Dios, EAC and UPHDJS; joined in the hate brigade and gossiped about the evil staff; fooled around with the hopeful externs and labtechs. I loved the 24-hour duties every weekends there as well; the 7:30am logs that i habitually cheat (Hey, no one's guarding the logbook anyway! >XD) and the stomach-bursting food binges (Especially!) every night duty. But even so, there's something lacking with my stay at PHC. I felt that we, as co-interns, weren't totally connected with each other.. those spoiled kids' catfights over the smallest things barred us from being one big happy family :/ .. sucks, right? That and the nasty attitude some of the staff were giving us was just too much. So in the end, the fun-meter for my first hospital just yields a so-so score.
Next is my second hospital, Philippine Children's Medical Center. During the first few months of my stay there, i was pretty depressed. Compared to the lab back at PHC, i thought their lab looked kinda drab. The air-conditioning system used to always malfunction so the heat was pretty hellish inside.. and it's no better outside either. Totally unlike in PHC where you have to wear winter wear even in midsummer just to survive the fierce cold. Next, the result-releasing system is not computerized so we have to manually release the results to every ward. Hello, how ancient can you get? It's really exhausting, lugging those heavy logbooks around and pleading to bitchy nurses just to make them recieve the results.. and it has to be done every damn hour! Arrgh! It's enough to make one go ballistic. Yet, as each day turned into weeks, weeks into months, i gradually started to feel right at home. I was already having fun releasing results to the wards even in the dead of night! I like how the staff there has strong work ethics too.. even though the other interns say that PCMC's strict rules were too much, i say it's good. It disciplined me and molded me into what a mature, responsible adult should be. Unlike in my first hospital where everything is so lax. Another thing that i loved most about PCMC is the congeniality of the staff. They patiently taught us the most important things we needed to know; and i salute them for being super patient even if teaching all over again to a new set of interns every month is super annoying.. not to mention toxic.
Now let's go to my new set of co-interns. In comparison to PHC, the number of interns accepted at PCMC is small. Coming from a 35-intern hospital to a 24-intern hospital, i got a little scared. That's down by 11 interns! Because of that, our 24-hour groups were only composed of 3 interns (but in our group, we have 4). Just when i thought 8 interns per night is already too few... Buuuut, in the end, even if the 24-hour groupings was so meager we still managed to wreak a lot of havoc in the lab >:D. My groupmates are sooooo hyper! Even the staff are ROFLing on the floor because of our antics. I'm soooo gonna miss the nights when we call Mcdonald's delivery and order junk food for dinner. "Hello? Can we order fries please?!" was our usual greeting to the person on the other line. Sigh.. Those were really fun nights.
Of course, a 6-month internship wouldn't be complete without the presence of a boy who makes my heart go boom! He's exactly my type: Tall, dark, cute, smaaaaart, quiet, shy and has a uber sexay voice. He doesn't really smile that much, but i managed to make him on our very last duty! He yielded to my womanly persistence! Muhahaha! Anyways, i know this is crazy talk but the following day, he came to visit the lab with no apparent reason.. or so he says. It just so happened that i was fulfilling my make-up duty that day and the only make-uppers there were girls whom he aren't really close with. He kept going in and out of the section where i was having my make-up duty too.. hmm fishy fishy. Could there be any chance that he likes me too? >:D I don't want to assume though.. but please, just let me have my fantasy that he was there to see me, okay?! XD
Sigh..
It's all over now. This is the official start of adult life for us. I'm only 19 right now, but i feel more wiser and stronger than before. Internship really did great things for me. I'm glad yet at the same time sad that it's already finished. Oh well, time to move on to another chapter of my life. There's still a whole lot of great things out there, waiting for me to happen. :)
***
10 Random Happenings/Stuff/Lessons learned During Internship:
1.) My first duty ever as an intern is a night duty.
2.) The price of regular food items is 2x higher inside a hospital as compared to convenient stores. That's what you call a Premium service. :P
3.) Always check the coffee machine if there are available cups before buying or your uniform will end up being the one sipping the coffee instead of you.
4.) I always get lost looking for wards and end up in the most unlikely places.
5.) Never wear high-heels. You'll never know when you'll get pulled out for warding by a speed-devil of a staff.
6.) Once, i was riding the elevator alone at midnight when it stopped at the 2nd floor and opened. That floor was already closed that time and it was super dark and eerie. For all i know I didn't press the button for that floor and i was definitely alone in there... or not.
7.) The demand for wet tissue is 200% higher when you're on duty.
8.) One time i broke 3 freshly prepared slides to be viewed by our pathologists. I really thought i was doomed at that time. So when i confessed to our staff, he just smiled at me and said: "don't worry, we'll just make new ones as replacement!" I knew then that God is watching over me. Hee-hee.
9.) I love going to the morgue to release corpses. I dunno why though. O.o
10.) It feels good when you go home from a 24-hour duty. It means sleep all day!
P.S.: Gonna post some of our last day photos next entry. XD
P.P.S: I need to post this now! It's so cute! XD
Can you guess who i am among those juicy babes inside a half-melon? XD |
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| Under construction! |
[Jan. 5th, 2008|08:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Leah Dizon - L.O.V.E. U | ] |
(see the full version here)
Yes, i am finally working on my manga! It may not turn out to be great but at least i know i will have tons and tons of fun doing this pet project of mine. Drawing is my only form of release and i'm really tense right now. I am probably having the so-called 'pregraduation jitters'. Anyways.. it's back to the drawing board for me!
P.S.
I'm not really in the mood to blog right now. I'm sick! I will try and update tomorrow.. I totally need to release these pent up frustration and anger going on in me. I miss bitch-blogging! LOL!
Toodles. |
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| She's like a beauty queen in just her T-shirt and her jeans... |
[Dec. 5th, 2007|10:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Christian Bautista - She could be | ] |
I have been tagged, so, here's my desktop as of the moment. Nothing special, really. :D
( And nonsense follow suit )
I'm going to a Christian bautista concert! Wheeee! Can't wait!! XD I wish i could kidnap him and make him my pet, but if i did that, the world would be lonelier without Christian... Aww, i am soooooo selfless.. XD
*Puts on a Christian Bautista CD and cranks up volume to the highest level* |
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| Bored |
[Oct. 18th, 2007|11:01 pm] |
I'm so bored from being bored. I'm wasting my youth here.
So, in consequence from being bored, i shall now rant my heart out.
( Welcome )
Sorry, it's all rambled and shit. I'm just not good at writing stuff.
G'night. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2007|07:21 pm] |
There have been a lot of changes with the names and stuff. :3 First off, the title has been changed from The Glass Flower to Proof of Existence. I like the new one better because it's much more relevant to the story than the latter. :D I hope it isn't taken and copyrighted though.
Second, I finally got the time to color my three main chararacters. It was hard to choose hair color for them because I don't want them to look like stereotypes. It's going to be black and white in the manga anyways. :3
Let me introduce the characters again!
Margaux AKA Mio
20 years old. Graduating BS psych stud. Driven with ambition. Intelligent yet clueless at the same time. Acts like a kid.
Raine
20-ish something guy. Quiet and reserved. Violent at times. Doesn't really like flowers, but there's just something in them that makes him drawn to them.
Dianne
Mystery woman. Like Raine, around 20+ years old. Beautiful. Has a voice belonging to an angel.
The drawings still suck though. It's been a long time since i had some serious practice. Will draw and color more. :3 |
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| A Manga to call my own~! XD |
[Jun. 11th, 2007|05:33 pm] |
Actually, this isn't my first time to create my own manga. I've done it several times before but almost all of them ended up in the trash can. The ones left in my archives are those i couldn't finish because of plot holes i couldn't fill in. ~_~
But this time i want to actually finish this particular manga i've created through hours of daydreaming [during class hours! XD] and i really think this is going to be a good and (hopefully) touching story. I'm not really a great artist nor a good story writer but hey, actually putting a story into a paper is better than just dreaming about it, isn't it? ^_^;;
So, anyways..
I know producing a good manga cannot be done by a single person alone. So if you're willing and got enough patience for me (XD), your help is very much appreciated. Be it in the visual aspect or in the story's progress, feel free to drop me a line and gimme all the love (help, actually) you can give! ^_^
The tentative title of my manga is [The Glass Flower]
Story:
Mio is a 20 year-old graduating BS psychology student who's a bookworm and a bonafide member of the SSB club: the single since birth club. She has no inkling about what people her age call 'love'; her life only revolves on books, school, trophies, medals and achievement awards.
Driven to maintain her number one status in class, Mio sets out to do something out of the ordinary for her final project: A documentary of a patient who is suffering from amnesia. With this, she plans to stay on the top of her batch and end her student life with a bang.
With that goal in mind, she meets Raine, a handsome young man who apparently has no memory of his past. As they spend each day solving mysteries of Raine's past together, Mio realizes that she's falling deeper and deeper for him. But all is not well when she finds out that a woman called Diana has been haunting Raine's dream every night, leaving him fragments of his memories -- revealing bit by bit, a dark and painful past.
This is the start of Mio and Raine's journey in discovering what is it to love, to forgive, to accept one's own mistakes, and to live life in it's fullest.
...
I know... it's LAME! I'm not really the 'writer' type.. Sawreh. :P I even have a hard time just writing my own blog entries. >.<
So, moving on..
Here are the major characters:
Raine:
- 20-ish something guy. Quiet and reserved. Violent at times. Doesn't really like flowers, but there's just something in them that makes him drawn to them.
*If you'd look closely, you would see a mole near his left eye. And that thing just above his brow is a small scar. These would become important in the story later on.
Mio:
- 20 years old. Graduating BS psych stud. Driven with ambition. Intelligent yet clueless at the same time. Acts like a kid.
Diana:
- Mystery woman. Like Raine, around 20+ years old. Beautiful. Has a voice belonging to an angel, as described by Raine.
...
Hehe, these were drawn by me earlier today. I had nothing to do when suddenly, a pencil and scratch paper just magically appeared in front of me. You know what happened next. XD
I'm gonna draw them and the other minor/supporting characters in a more decent piece of paper next time. I'll even color them in Adobe photoshop! Oooh, i can see the fire burning in my eyes already. XD |
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| A big mistake |
[May. 31st, 2007|08:33 pm] |
You've got a beautiful face, you know that?
Oh-kay...?
But then you're chubby.
So? It's just the way my body is.
I would've asked you to be my girlfriend, but it's just that.. i don't like big girls.
Well it's your loss. You've missed one hell of a girl because you judged me based on my physique.
*walks away*
Are you mad at me?
What are you, a moron? |
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| All we know is falling apart |
[May. 13th, 2007|11:03 pm] |
Hola amigos! How's life? I can't seem to tell because you are also not updating like mois. Were you also bitten by the lazy bug? Yes yes, it seems that we are in that season. Aieee.
*flexes typing fingers*
It's been quite a while since i last blogged, and this is kinda refreshing. I have a lot of things i should've posted about in the past, but the momentum is gone so there's no point talking about them, really. It's like when you're super hungry to the point that your saliva's starting to taste good (eww, i know.) but you're not allowed to eat for hours and afterwards, as lunch period comes, you suddenly realize your appetite's all zapped up and can't even take a bite. That's the same with blogging... well, at least for me it is.
Damn, i've gotten rusty with this. The former blog-crazy me would be ashamed if she saw me in this situation. Anyways, let me warm up a bit and the randomness banked on my head will slowly go gushing out. The fun starts there then, Lol.
I am currently an intern at the Philippine Heart Center. Maybe you have heard that name somewhere, sometime in your existence because that hospital's got a pretty good reputation. Not that i'm bragging, but hey, that's the truth. Being an intern there shattered my vision of myself with a steel-solid ambition of becoming a doctor or a medical technologist at least. But, no. It doesn't mean i'm already quitting that dream. It's just that everytime i walk my way to the bus stop adjacent GMA-7's premises, i recall the things i've done in the laboratory. My mistakes, my stupidity, and my good work that usually goes unnoticed. Sometimes I feel ashamed of myself for being such a loser compared to my other co-interns. I feel like an idiot after being scolded by my supervising staff for not remembering stuff that i should've known since i've already encountered them on my third year of college. The phrases "will i be a doctor someday if i'm this stupid?!", "should i switch courses?" and "What the f*ck?!" are playing in my head like a broken record everytime i crash and burn. Sometimes i wonder what happened to the confident ME who's always the right one in the class; the one whom my classmates turn to when they're stuck on a dead-end situation, the one whom they call to when they don't know the answer. I was like an effing icon back then, treated with high regard because of my knowledge and high grades without giving much effort in return. What happened to me now? It's like everything i knew was erased. It's shocking, everything's so different. I'm finding it hard to catch up because i admit, i'm quite the tortoise: slow but sure. But the general rule in the hospital is to be quick and snappy at all times, so what's a girl like me to do?
Now i'm finally regretting all those times that i took my third year for granted, for all of those times i've cut class and my lack of participation in our class discussions. I regret that i was not able to participate with our universities' extra-curricular activities because i've wasted my precious time playing online games 'til dawn. To put it quite bluntly, i am sorry that i was not able to make my remaining school days as fun as it ought be. Now i'm feeling depressed as i have to endure this relentless training before going out into the world. I am only 18 and i feel so old already. I want my youth back, ha-ha.
But you know, being an intern isn't so bad. It's just me wallowing in self-misery that's giving it a bad edge, lol. It's actually pretty fun once you get the hang of things. On my first night (and first ever duty) at the hospital, i was scolded (actually, scolded's quite an understatement if you saw me during that time. I was like, TOASTED!) because of my stupidity. But, as i look back at it, it's quite funny and educating because that mistake had braced me for the worst things to come. Maybe that's my strong point, i learn from my mistakes and embrace the consequences to come from it unlike other people who are always in-denial. I'm not talking about someone in particular, mind you.
Also, i've met new people and made new friends at PHC, staff and other interns alike. Hopefully, i won't make enemies as well. They're super fun to be with, especially my groupmates whose crazy antics and ridiculous food binges get me cracking everytime. Quoting from my friend michele's blog entry, you get to practice your interpersonal skills in the lab, and i pretty much needed to hone that skill. I'm quite retarded when it comes to dealing with people, hehe. *sweatdrops*
So, going back to the part where my vision was shattered, what do i do about it now? I know it's hard, but the only answer i've come up with is to rebuild it, even if the whole process is going to be hard and painful. Now i finally realize that i've got to work even harder and smile at whatever sh*t life throws my way. Hey, it makes people stronger, so i've heard. I've got to go soul searching again and pull myself from this dark limbo of depression with the help of God almighty... and my mom's homemade cooking. Lol. ^_^
Whew, i finally got that off my chest. Pretty long rant, huh? Did it seem coherent to you? No? LOL. Whatever. ^_^
On an unrelated note (or may be related? i dunno.), one of the perks of being an intern at a well-known hospital is you get to meet celebrities in flesh. I won't mention names though, i practice the code of discretion in health care. But damn, i'm not exaggerating but i can really see the star-quality oozing out from them. But the fun thing is, you get to see their pained expressions (from being venipunctured, of course) you don't usually see on TV. Lol, poking needles at celebrities is the L337. XD
Anyways, back to studying. Gotta prepare for MT board examination. But first, i gotta pass our Compre so i can finally graduate. Yay. ^_^ |
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[Mar. 19th, 2007|06:53 pm] |
Hey, it's been a while.
How've you been? Me? I'm doing good. I'm not really getting those high grades my father have been pressuring me to get, but for me they're just fine.
Just roughly one more week to go. I'm gonna make it.
I just got word from my (future) clinical instructor that i passed my interview at Philippine Heart Center and Philippine Children's Medical Center. I kinda wished i didn't cause the pressure of being in those elitists (is there such a word? Wateberr..) hospitals are wracking my nerves. I'm already starting to feel eyes scrutinizing me from the very tips of my hair down to the last fiber sticking out of my shoes.
Come April 1 and i'm already on my 4th year of College. Oh how time passes by.
My mind is currently drowning with one word right now. Internship internship internship.
365 days of pure hospital fun. No holidays nor storm suspensions. Yay! I'm not being sarcastic, alright?
Well, that's all i've got to say. Thanks for reading!
See you again in a year after i (hopefully) graduate!
Lovelots,
Goldie~ |
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| Happy days |
[Nov. 26th, 2006|02:53 pm] |
Eu desejo que este estado atual da felicidade não está lavado por uma outra maré do anguish e do desespero
A little portugese i've learned from my father. I hope i'm not grammatically incorrect though.
It's been a long time since i last updated. Hmm, let me see.... Uh, no. I cannot recollect the stuff that happened to me since the last time i updated. Hence, no unnecessary stuff 'bout my well-being for now.
I just wanted to post that i've finally attained peace within myself. From all of the hurt i've experienced, i've moved on. All the wounds have healed, and hopefully won't reopen. I know that the road i have to travel is still very long, but as i now have welcomed God in my heart again, i know happier days is up ahead. No, i'm not being a religious buff here, but let me just share that during those times that i feel like dying, i consulted God and he did not let me down. How that happened is for me to keep. No gallons of tears nor billions of money can surpass what God did for me, and i am very thankful for that. Save the pessimism because i'm not being optimistic. I'm just saying (more like typing) the truth.
I can finally smile with glowing radiance and happiness at last. Even the digicams are agreeing with me. Ohohoho~
Smile for the cameras babe. ^_~
Later. |
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| Happy! |
[Oct. 7th, 2006|02:51 am] |
I'm really really happy right now. Can't you tell from my goofy smile? Things are finally going smooth for me.
I've passed almost all of my major subjects and my plans for cosplay is finally going to materialize! Yay!
Lol, i know i'm too old to cosplay, but what the hell, i really really want to do it! XD I promised myself that i'm gonna do something really memorable before i become an adult and this is my chance!
I'm gonna cosplay a High-priestess from ragnarok online, BTW. I'm going with my friend who's gonna play Roxas from Kingdom hearts 2. I helped him make his Keyblade and it looks awesome. Ooooh, we're gonna have one helluva time. XD |
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| Morbid Schmorbid. |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|07:32 pm] |
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I wonder what would happen to me if i "accidentally" killed someone? |
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